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With the Hochkönigcard you will experience the perfect summer vacation in the mountains including all highlights and attractions of the Hochkönig region. In addition, Hochkönigcard holders enjoy attractive price advantages at selected attractions in the area. The card is only included in all Hochkönigcard partner businesses and cannot be purchased. The Hochkönigcard symbol in the top right-hand corner indicates whether your selected accommodation is a partner establishment.
The Hochkönigcard
With the Hochkönigcard you will experience the perfect summer vacation in the mountains including all highlights and attractions of the Hochkönig region. In addition, Hochkönigcard holders enjoy attractive price advantages at selected attractions in the area. The card is only included in all Hochkönigcard partner businesses and cannot be purchased. The Hochkönigcard symbol in the top right-hand corner indicates whether your selected accommodation is a partner establishment.
This online retailer has partnered up with the vision discounts provided by the AARP through EyeMed.
The AARP is a nonprofit organization that caters to older Americans nearing the standard retirement age in the USA.
The AARP provides discounts of many kinds.
These discounts include retail and travel discounts, healthcare resources and discounts, employment advice and financial advice.
Some of the discounts included in an AARP membership also surround entertainment and dining.
You can also get discounts on entertainment options like Regal movie tickets, Ticketmaster, and Ancestry.
There are many perks to having an AARP membership that extend beyond these options, and they are all beneficial to helping facilitate a comfortable life.
Their resources and benefits are all catered to people of retirement age, but you do not have to be in your retirement age to become a member.
This alone makes having an AARP membership worthwhile for many Americans, as other organizations may be limited in access to their benefits.
The yearly fee for joining AARP is low which makes it accessible to anyone interested in their membership benefits.
There are free benefits available for individuals who do not wish to join straightaway, but the best perks are for those who take the leap and join this organization.
AARP can help individuals who do not know their way around retirement planning as well as those who enjoy traveling at least once a year, or things like medical exams.
There are numerous ways that an AARP membership can benefit you, and if you’re considering joining, reading further will provide you with more reasons to do so.
Simply show the Joker Card and enjoy the perfect vacation in Saalbach.
Joker Card from 2020
Bikers can transport their bike twice a day free of charge on the gondola. After there is a discount of 30% on the regular bike tariff for unlimited use.
For hikers the use of the gondola is unlimited still.
Discounts at the bonus partners
SitePlaceBonus Golden Gate Bridge & Tree-Top Trail Saalbach (end of the valley) Adults € 1.00, children € 0.50 discount Jump and Slide Park Saalbach (end of the valley) 2 = 3 hours stay Taxi 6620 Saalbach 10% discount on excursions and individual rides according to the programme Mountainguides Saalbach Saalbach 10% discount Go Kart Track Saalbach €2.00 discount Glemmy Offroad Park Viehhofen 10% discount on all rides Archery Glemmerhof Viehhofen 10% discount on course use and rentals Summer Alpine Slide Biberg Saalfelden 20% discount Airstar tandem flights Saalfelden 10% discount on the super panorama flight Ritzensee Saalfelden 20% discount Heimatmuseum Ritzen Saalfelden € 0.50 discount, children under 18 years free of charge Flying Fox XXL Leogang 10% discount Felsentherme Spa Bad Gastein 3 = 4 hours stay Weisssee Glacier World Uttendorf 20% discount on the cable car ticket Mühlauersäge Wood Museum Fusch 12% discount Wildlife and Leisure Park Ferleiten Fusch 10% discount on the entrance fee Grossglockner High Alpine Road € 4.00 discount on day tickets car; € 3.00 discount on day tickets motorcycle Großglockner Glacier Train 20% discount Adventure Golf “Wolferlgut” Bruck 15% discount Alpine Reservoirs Kaprun 10% discount Sigmund-Thun-Klamm Kaprun ca. 10% discount Vötter's Oldtimer Museum Kaprun 20% discount Museum Kaprun Kaprun 10% discount Tauern SPA Kaprun 3 = 4 hours stay Kitzlochklamm gorge Taxenbach 10% discount National Park Worlds Mittersill 15% discount Alpentherme Bad Hofgastein Guest card tariff according to the notice board Motion Center (Rafting/Canyoning. ) Lofer 10% discount on all services (except packages and Saturdays) Rafting Center Taxenbach 20% discount on rafting and canyoning Schmittenhöhebahn & Schifffahrt Zell am See 10% discount Schloss Hellbrunn City of Salzburg € 1.00 reduction on adult’s rate, € 0.50 reducation on children's rate Beaches & Swimming pool Zell am See 10% discount Salzburg Open-air museum Großgmain € 2.00 discount on adult’s rate Haus der Natur Nature Museum City of Salzburg € 0.50 discount o n adult’s rate Salzburg Zoo City of Salzburg 10% discount Salt mine Hallein / (Hallstatt) Adult or family ticket € 2.00 reduction
A valley full of possibilities awaits you during your summer vacation in Saalbach. Hiking, biking, playing golf, or using numerous services in the region free of charge with the Joker Card—here no wish remains unfulfilled.
400 km of hiking trails are waiting to be explored by you. All skill levels are represented—from easy tours for families up to demanding tours for true mountaineers.
Over 70 km of lines & trails and 9 gondolas on 7 mountains: Saalbach Hinterglemm Leogang Fieberbrunn is Austria's largest biking region!
Away from the mountain
Away from the mountains, there is also much to experience during your summer holiday in Saalbach. High Rope Park, rafting, canyoning, archery, geocaching, etc.
The JOKER CARD is included at all partner accommodation providers in the period from 26 May to 16 October 2022 and allows free use of up to 8 gondolas and access to the region's most popular attractions. Furthermore, JOKER CARD holders enjoy a price advantage of 30% on bike tickets of Austria's largest bike region with up to 9 gondolas in Saalbach Hinterglemm, in the Epic Bikepark Leogang und in Fieberbrunn as well as bonus partners throughout the Salzburger Land.
JOKER CARD
The JOKER CARD is included at all partner accommodation providers in the period from 26 May to 16 October 2022 and allows free use of up to 8 gondolas and access to the region's most popular attractions. Furthermore, JOKER CARD holders enjoy a price advantage of 30% on bike tickets of Austria's largest bike region with up to 9 gondolas in Saalbach Hinterglemm, in the Epic Bikepark Leogang und in Fieberbrunn as well as bonus partners throughout the Salzburger Land.
UP to 6 gondolas in summer operation
Six gondolas are operatiing in the summer: The Kohlmais gondola, the Schattberg X-press and the Schattberg Sprinter in Saalbach as well as the Westgipfel gondola, the 12er KOGEL gondola and the Reiterkogel gondola in Hinterglemm. Please find details on gondola operation here.
All JOKER CARD benefits
- Unlimited free use (passenger transportation) of up to 6 gondolas in Saalbach Hinterglemm
- 2 x daily free use (passenger transportation) of gondolas in Leogang (optionally 1 x each with Asitz- AND Steinberg gondola or 2 x with Asitz- OR Steinberg gondola)
- 2 x daily free bike transport* with gondolas in Saalbach Hinterglemm or Leogang
- Biking without limits in Austria's largest biking region: 30% discount on bike tickets for unlimited use incl. bike transport of up to 9 gondolas in Saalbach Hinterglemm, the Epic Bikepark Leogang and in Fieberbrunn (reduced bike tickets are only available at the ticket counters of the gondolas in Saalbach Hinterglemm - a valid JOKER CARD is demanded)
- Attractions for kids: Kodok Mountain, Montelino's Adventure Path, Devil’s Water, Motor Skills Path, Fairytale Forest, Kids Hiking Challenge, summit playgrounds and much more
- Unlimited access to the Käpt'n Hook outdoor adventure pool Saalbach
- Unlimited use of the end-of-the-valley-train in Hinterglemm
- Unlimited use of the hiking bus in Saalbach Hinterglemm and the public transport system in the whole Pinzgau district
- Up to 10 guided hikes per week by the Tourist Board
- Unlimited use of the mini golf courses in Saalbach and Hinterglemm
- Unlimited use of the tennis facilities in Saalbach and Hinterglemm (please reserve in advance)
- Free admission to the Local Museum and Ski Museum
- In addition, you will receive attractive discounts from a large number of bonus partners throughout the Salzburger Land
JOKER CARDs are personalised and non-transferable.
*2 bike transports per full day if the JOKER CARD is valid for the whole day, 1 bike transport per half day if the JOKER CARD is valid for half a day.
Romance?
Karl and Milly were lying in bed one night. Carl was falling asleep but Milly was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk. She said, "You used to hold my hand when we were courting."
Wearily Karl reached across, held her hand for a second, and rolled over to try to fall asleep.
A few moments later she said, "Then you used to kiss me."
Mildly irritated, he leaned across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled back down to sleep.
Thirty seconds later she said, "Then you used to bite my neck."
Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed.
"Where are you going?" she asked.
"To the bathroom to get my teeth," he replied.
Senior Citizen Merriment, Jokes, and Fun!
Late Night Lecture
An elderly man driving erratically was stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and was asked where he was going at that time of night.
The man replied, "I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late."
The officer then asked, "Really? Who's giving that lecture at this time of night?"
The man replied, "That would be my wife."
Grandma's Visit
"Oh, I sure am glad to see you," the little boy said to his grandmother (on his mother's side). "Now Daddy will do the trick he's been promising us."
The grandmother was curious. "What trick is that?" she asked.
"He told Mommy that he'd climb the walls if you came to visit," answered the boy.
What's Your Name, Again?
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to playing cards a few times a week.
One day when playing cards, one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me. I know we've been friends a long time, but I just can't think of your name. I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is."
Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"
Hard of Hearing
Morris, an 82-year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.
A few days later the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young lady on his arm.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?"
Morris replied, "Just doing what you said, Doctor, 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'"
The doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said you got a heart mummer and be careful."
Quotes from Actual Insurance Claims
• Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I didn't have.
• In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.
• I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.
• I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.
• I told the police I was not injured, but on removing my hat I found that I had a fractured skull.
• The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run. So I ran over him.
• I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment.
Pet Parrot
A man buys a pet parrot and brings him home. But the parrot starts insulting him and gets really nasty, so the man picks up the parrot and tosses him into the freezer to teach him a lesson. He hears the bird squawking for a few minutes, but all of a sudden the parrot is quiet. The man opens the freezer door, the parrot walks out, looks up at him and says, "I apologize for offending you, and I humbly ask your forgiveness."
The man says, "Well, thank you. I forgive you."
The parrot then says, "If you don't mind my asking, what did the chicken do?"
Romance?
Karl and Milly were lying in bed one night. Carl was falling asleep but Milly was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk. She said, "You used to hold my hand when we were courting."
Wearily Karl reached across, held her hand for a second, and rolled over to try to fall asleep.
A few moments later she said, "Then you used to kiss me."
Mildly irritated, he leaned across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled back down to sleep.
Thirty seconds later she said, "Then you used to bite my neck."
Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed.
"Where are you going?" she asked.
"To the bathroom to get my teeth," he replied.
He died of what? Doctor's true story.
One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a "massive internal fart."
Hard of Hearing
An old man decided his old wife was getting hard of hearing. So he called her doctor to make an appointment to have her hearing checked. The doctor said he could see her in two weeks, and meanwhile there's a simple, informal test the husband could do to give the doctor some idea of the dimensions of the problem.
"Here's what you do. Start about 40 feet away from her, and speak in a normal onversational tone and see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response."
So that evening she's in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he's in the living room, and he says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens."
"Honey, what's for supper?"
No response.
So he moves to the other end of the room, about 30 feet away. "Honey, what's for supper?"
No response.
So he moves into the dining room, about 20 feet away. "Honey, what's for supper?"
No response.
On to the kitchen door, only 10 feet away. "Honey, what's for supper?".
No response.
So he walks right up behind her. "Honey, what's for supper?"
"For the fifth time, CHICKEN!"
George Carlin sez.
"I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. Then it dawned on me . . . they're cramming for their final exam."
Old Wisdom
After working his farm every day, an old farmer rarely had time to enjoy the large pond in the back that he had fixed up years earlier with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and benches. So one evening he decided to go down and see how things were holding up. Much to his surprise, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a group of young women skinny dipping in his pond.
He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave."
The old farmer replied, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim or make you get out of the pond naked. I only came down to feed the alligator."
Moral: Old age and treachery will always triumph over youth and skill.
Wrong Color Suit
An old lady was very upset as her husband Albert had just passed away. She went to the undertakers to have one last look at her dearly departed husband. The instant she saw him she started crying. The mortician walked over to comfort her. Through her tears she explained that she was upset because her dearest Albert was wearing a black suit, and it was his fervent wish to be buried in a blue suit.
The mortician apologized and explained that traditionally they always put bodies in a black suit, but he'd see what he could arrange.
The next day she returned to the funeral parlor to have one last moment with Albert before the funeral the following day.
When the mortician pulled back the curtain, she managed a smile through her tears as Albert was resplendent in a smart blue suit. She said to the mortician, "Wonderful, wonderful, but where did you get that beautiful suit?"
"Well, yesterday afternoon after you left, a man about your husband's size was brought in and he was wearing a blue suit," the mortician replied. "His wife was quite upset because she wanted him buried in the traditional black suit."
Albert's wife smiled at the undertaker.
"After that," he continued, "it was just a matter of swapping the heads."
Three Elderly Sisters
Three sisters, ages 92, 94, and 96, live in a house together. One night the 96-year-old draws a bath. She puts one foot in a pauses. She yells down the stairs, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?"
The 94-year-old yells back, "I don't know. I'll come up and see." She starts up the stairs and pauses. Then she yells out, "Was I going up the stairs or down?"
The 92-year-old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea and listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful." She knocks on wood for good measure. She then replies, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door."
- Blackjack chewing gum
- Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar-water
- Candy cigarettes
- Soda-pop machines that dispensed bottles
- Coffee shops with tableside jukeboxes
- Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers
- Party lines
- Newsreels before the movie
- P. F. Flyers
- Butch wax
- Telephone numbers with a word prefix (e.g., Olive - 6933)
- Peashooters
- Howdy Doody
- 45-RPM records . and 78-RPM records
- S&H Green Stamps
- Hi-fi systems
- Metal ice trays with lever
- Mimeograph paper
- Blue flashbulb
- Packards
- Rollerskate keys
- Cork popguns
- Drive-in theaters
- Studebakers
- Washtub wringers
At the Salon
I overheard the receptionist admit to another customer, "I haven't taken my vitamins today. I'm walking arounf unprotected."
The customer commiserated with her, but then added, "I haven't taken my Prozac today—everyone's walking around unprotected."
Oh, the pity of old age.
When I went to lunch today, I noticed an old man sitting on a park bench sobbing his eyes out. I stopped and asked him what was wrong. He said, "I have a 22 year old wife at home. She rubs my back every morning and then gets up and makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit and freshly ground coffee."
I said, "Well, then why are you crying?"
He said, "She makes me homemade soup for lunch and my favorite brownies, cleans the house and then watches sports TV with me for the rest of the afternoon."
I said, "Well, why are you crying?"
He said, "For dinner she makes me a gourmet meal with wine and my favorite dessert and then makes love with me until the wee hours"
I said, "Well, why in the world would you be crying?"
He said, "I can't remember where I live!"
Here's to all of us born before 1979!
First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can and didn't get tested for diabetes.Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-base paints.
We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, locks on doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had baseball caps not helmets on our heads.
As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, no booster seats, no seat belts, no air bags, bald tires and sometimes no brakes. Riding in the back of a pick- up truck on a warm day was always a special treat.
We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle. We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and no one actually died from this.
We ate cupcakes, white bread, real butter and bacon. We drank Kool-Aid made with real white sugar. And, we weren't overweight.. WHY?
Because we were always outside playing. that's why! We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.. No one was able to reach us all day. And, we were OKAY.
We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride them down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.
We did not have Play Stations, Nintendo's and X-boxes. There were no video games, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD's, no surround-sound or CD's, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet and no chat rooms.
WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!
We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.
We would get spankings with wooden spoons, switches, ping pong paddles, or just a bare hand and no one would call child services to report abuse.
We ate worm and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.
We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not poke out very many eyes.
We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them.
Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!
The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!
These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever. The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.
We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all.
If YOU are one of them, CONGRATULATIONS!
You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives for our own good. Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it?
The "Star-vaders" managed to escape from the planet despite their heavy casualties. They were not utterly eliminated, and some of their commanders remained unscathed. Hiding somewhere in the universe, the Star-vaders are probably preparing for another invasion.
Contents
Link Joker in Modern Times
"Link Joker", the invaders of the planet Cray, lost the war and failed to fulfill their objectives. Their directions have been divided into three.
The "Star-vaders" managed to escape from the planet despite their heavy casualties. They were not utterly eliminated, and some of their commanders remained unscathed. Hiding somewhere in the universe, the Star-vaders are probably preparing for another invasion.
For the "Deletors", who are bizzare beings lurking on the wandering star "Brandt", their number had been significantly reduced, but they are still wandering in the universe while preying on other lifeforms.
The Link Jokers left on the planet Cray would have faced their inevitable destruction. However, under the Messiah's will of "Harmony and Regeneration", now, they would take actions as new lifeforms---
The Factions of Link Joker, and their whereabouts
"Star-vaders", the forerunners who have destroyed many planets; "Deletors", the wanderers who trample on the milky way---"Link Joker" have released many of its factions into different dimensions, but due to their defeat in "Invasion Great War" and the dissolution of "Messiah Scramble", a great incident that takes place in a planet of another dimension that bears striking resemblance to Cray, the distribution of factions has been changed a lot. A section of "Star-vaders" managed to escape from Cray, but they failed to return to the main force, and they are hiding somewhere in the universe. "Brandt", the base of the "Deletors" which left the collision orbit without directly hitting Cray, are still wandering in the universe despite the heavy losses of fighting force. Nonetheless, the soldiers of "Link Joker" who were destroyed in the great wars exist in the most special situation. Their bodies melted into the soil of Cray after their destruction, but the substance could not be assimilated as parts of the planet because their bodies are composed of matter and energy that do not exist on Cray. Afterwards, they were reborn as new life forms that take root on Cray, by the power of "Messiah" awakened from its slumber. The birth of new lives affect the environment of Cray, for instance, spirits that produce the vital energy of "Link Joker" were born.
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I ran one yesterday and it came out the same as our cash price but it charged the pharmacy 27 extra dollars. How are these shits legal?
How do you explain to people how much of a joke discount cards are?
I ran one yesterday and it came out the same as our cash price but it charged the pharmacy 27 extra dollars. How are these shits legal?
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If you would like to do the same, add the browser extension TamperMonkey for Chrome (or GreaseMonkey for Firefox) and add this open source script.
Then simply click on your username on Reddit, go to the comments tab, and hit the new OVERWRITE button at the top.
I work in a regional supermarket pharmacy where we are aloud to see how much the insurance or discount cards are charging the pharmacy and we can edit cash prices and such. Things I'm sure the big chain pharmacies aren't aloud to do. My pharmacist said that back in the day when he worked at Walgreens, he changed the cash price for someone (within reason) and the next day security was there waiting for him and grilled him about it. I'm sure now pharmacists there don't even have the option to change prices now.
If you haven’t tried drawing a funny doodle on, or colored an eggs, you have probably at least seen decorated eggs everywhere during the Easter season.
35 Funny Egg Quotes and Jokes
If you haven’t tried drawing a funny doodle on, or colored an eggs, you have probably at least seen decorated eggs everywhere during the Easter season.
Almost 200 million Easter greeting cards are distributed between people around the world every season, all in an effort to share the love, and spread the warmth it brings.
What’s even more fun is getting to read all the hilarious jokes and egg quotes and boy, have we ‘laid’ some good ones up for you here!
In this article, get ready for some funny egg quotes that hopefully get to crack you up. Get it…. Crack… you know, like egg crack… ahhh never mind, you probably didn’t get the yolk.
Off The Mark
Pruneville
Geriatric Erotica
PruneJuiceComics
Discount card joke
Off The Mark
Pruneville
Geriatric Erotica
PruneJuiceComics
Senior Citizen Greeting Cards
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